A Lesson in Time
Lessons on letting go, leading with intention, and embracing life’s transitions.
Crumpled paper transforming into a boat then a swan and a flying bird to represent evolution, transformation, and transitions.
The Warnings of Time – and the Blur of Early Parenting
Those who have been parents are quick to tell young parents, “How fast the time goes.” I only sort of believed them, mostly because I was an “in the moment” parent, not necessarily that I was “Zen” and practicing presence, but more like trying to stay afloat in the newly added role.
For those who choose it, parenting is amazing and life-changing to be sure. Still, the responsibility can be overwhelming, then add my day job, keeping up my living space, trying to maintain all the other relationships, and well…who were these people and how dare they tell me how quickly the time goes when I was still changing diapers and completely sleep-deprived?
Suddenly, one day, I dropped my kid off at preschool and, even though the excitement of knowing the world was her oyster (or at least she would learn how to color and share), the whispers of those parents took root.
Cardinals in the Holly Bush: A Living Metaphor
Fast forward to the early Spring of 2020: our daughter was a senior in high school, our youngest just launching into 3rd grade. We were living in Nashville, and outside our family room window, a beautiful cardinal couple was building a nest in a holly bush. Thankful for laptops and the remote nature of my work as a writer, I parked on the couch and watched for hours, days, and then weeks as the two took turns bringing building supplies to create their new home.
I was mesmerized as the parents sat vigil over the three delicate, pale blue, and brown speckled eggs. They alternated between keeping warm and defending their territory, while also venturing out of the nest in search of sustenance for themselves or simply to stretch their wings.
A Front-Row Seat to Growth
One morning, I noticed that the tiny eggs had hatched, and the parents were now tuned into the new needs of their young, taking turns filling their relentless, open mouths, alert and watching for danger. The sweet, awkward hatchlings had faces only their parents could love, with their pink, patchy skin and bulging eyes, but they loved them nonetheless.
Then, in less than two weeks, spotty feathers and down covered the hatchlings ’ fleshy spots as they grew substantially, leaving less room for the parents to stay in the nest.
Every day, I would sit and watch the parents work as a team and the babies grow, right before my eyes. I’m not sure how much writing I got done during that time, but nothing else seemed worth my attention.
The Inevitable Launch
In under three weeks, the fledglings were hopping among the branches of the holly bush, still receiving food from their parents and resting in the nest in the evenings.
And then it happened, on the timeline nature intended it, yet it still felt like light speed.
The fledglings flew the nest, braving higher branches and trees farther away until they stopped returning. The parents, too, moved on to their next brood of the season.
A Nest Built for Beginnings, Not Staying
As I sat with the reality of how quickly the cardinal gestation process unfolds, I was most struck by the truth that nests are built for eggs and hatchlings, but there comes a day when they can no longer hold all the full-grown birds.
It gave me perspective on how precious time is and how I want to spend it as my son enters high school and our daughter launches out into the bigger world post-college.
The process has also shown me how I have evolved and grown, alongside my kids. As parents, it’s easy to either forget or be unaware of our own growth with our attention pulled in many directions, even good ones. However, I thank the cardinals for their example of taking turns, periodically leaving the nest for breaks and sustenance, while also searching for their next nest site, which I learned through some research.
We Grow Too
Who I am today is different from who I was when my kids were younger. When I was younger, I was less experienced with the trial and error of life and often just “winging it.” I’ve lived some life, experienced highs and lows, and let those experiences shape me.
I’m grateful the cardinals showed up during a season of having my firstborn leave our nest. Those gorgeous creatures never spoke a word but taught me volumes, even the real-time lesson of how “they grow up so fast.”
Beyond the Nest: Leadership, Courage, and Growth
Whether you're watching your children take their first tentative steps toward independence or finding yourself at the edge of your own comfort zone, the cardinal's wisdom applies far beyond parenting. Great leaders, like those devoted cardinal parents, know that their role isn't to keep their teams safely contained, but to prepare them to soar beyond what they thought possible.
And just as those fledglings had to brave higher branches to discover their true capabilities, we too must be willing to leave our familiar nests—whether that's a comfortable job, a predictable routine, or a limiting belief about ourselves.
Growth happens in the space between safety and possibility, in those moments when we choose to spread our wings despite not knowing exactly where we'll land.
The most profound transformations in parenting, leadership, and life occur when we trust the process of letting go and stepping boldly into the unknown, carrying our accumulated wisdom while remaining open to who we might become on the other side of courage.