Small moments of reflection. Practical steps forward.
The longest five seconds
We ask a good question, and then nothing happens. Nobody answers. The silence stretches out, and everything in us wants to rescue it. So we rephrase the question, or offer an answer, or move on to the next topic. We have all done it. We mean well, and the quiet is a little uncomfortable for us too.
Why we rush in
Silence can feel like something has gone wrong. Most of the time it means someone is thinking. They’re deciding what to say, how much of it to say, and whether it feels safe to say the real thing. The first answer is often the easy one. The honest one tends to follow a few seconds later, if there’s room for it.
When we fill that space, we take the conversation back without meaning to. When we leave it open, we show the other person that we’re interested in what they think and willing to wait for it.
It matters in a 1:1, in a team meeting, and in the hallway conversation that turns out to be the important one. People share more when they sense there’s time to share it.
One small thing to try this week
The next time we ask someone a question, let’s stay quiet for a slow count of five before we say anything. It will feel long. That’s normal. If nothing comes, “Take your time” is enough.
Then listen to what arrives. It’s often worth the wait.
If you’d like help making this kind of room a habit, for yourself or your team, we’d love to talk. Our Listen Better, Lead Better masterclass is a practical place to start, and our certified coaches work with leaders one on one. Write to us at hello@wearesiamo.com and we’ll help you find the right fit.